where did the time go

It's been five days since I last posted about creating time to 'redesign' my life.  I don't even remember what I was going to do, let alone schedule the time to do it. Where did the time, and this week go?

I also am realizing that Christmas is 13 days away.  Seriously, is time just moving and warp speed. 

Things I'm pondering...

...can I seriously just slow time down a bit....

...Does life get easier as you get older?

...I haven't had a good glass of wine in quite awhile...why is that?

Redesigning Life

I took a step back tonight from the stress of a paper and a fast approaching deadline to recalibrate life. It had been awhile since I had even a moment to make myself a nice dinner, clean my desk (which is where I found mail two weeks old) and just get things organized again.

On my desk I have kept a book that I have mentioned previously.... A Minute of Margin. So, why not, let's open it up and see where the bookmark was last left.

'Redesigning Life" -- how appropriate for me. A few excerpts that seem pertinent:

Civilization, in the real sense of the term, consists not in the multiplication, but in the deliberate and voluntary reduction of wants. This alone promotes real happiness and contentment, and increases the capacity for service. ~~ Mahatma Gandhi

I even used a common statement today....less is more...but yet I can't grasp that concept in my own personal life. I push and push but sometimes I wonder what for? Is it all worth it? Am I truly living? Is this the plan God intended for me?

Another excerpt (paraphrased).... "write down everything you have in your life that consumes time on a piece of paper....then throw it into the fire and wipe the slate clean. Allow God to redesign our lives by that which is fully spiritually authentic...'

Not a bad idea. Now I just need to schedule time to do that!

Things I'm pondering....
....what is the underlying reason that I push myself so hard? Ah yes, I know and was reminded by my mother...my unyielding desire to right my life's failures....
... how can I learn to not be a perfectionist?
... are there advantages to being lazy? If so, what are they?

Musings from a Snowy Day

It snowed again today. A few more inches added to the count. It feels like I've been stuck in winter for months already and yet according to the Gregorian calendar, the winter solstice does not begin until December 21st. How can this be? Why does this season always seem to start so early and last so long? Ah yes, I am reminded where I live in the midwest. Maybe I should move away to warmer climate?

I recall from last year, a record-setting snow fall year, the over abundance of snow and how I felt the same with regard to it. Will this year be a repeat? I was reminded today while driving that there are benefits of driving a 4-wheel drive vehicle. Now, if only I had one to deal with the elements.

With all this being said about the snow, difficulty driving in it and the bitter cold, when I'm warm and inside, the snow has an elegance about it as it flows smoothly from the sky above. Its actually soothing in away to just watch it fall and being peaceful.

If only life could be as simple, elegant and peaceful like snow falling. But yet, life is complicated. I do it to myself. The expectations and requirements I put on myself and the constant minimizing of my accomplishments just beat a guy down over time. But yet I always pick myself up only to fall down again.

One day, life will be easier and resemble the calmness of a fresh snow. One day...


Things I'm Pondering...
... is there a world record for the tallest snowman? If not...should I attempt to set that record?
... I wonder if there is a big enough bottle to bottle up all of one person's feelings for a lifetime in.
... I've been told to stop letting life get in the way of life...I wonder how I do that?

Whirlwind

The last few days have been a bit of whirlwind for me. Working long hours, being intensely focused on one project and spending the entire day, sometimes straight through, working on one thing. Many people that just sitting at a desk and working on a computer all day is easy...in reality, it takes a toll on people just like other jobs. Granted, this may not be as physically demanding as some positions however mentally, it is draining. 

The last few days I feel like my head has been spinning. I have crammed so much data into my head after performing a number of data analytics and then writing a report about the data that i just want to stare at a tv and do nothing... or at least something that is mind-numbing. I'm just exhausted mentally....and haven't been sleeping well either. Maybe its the weather...which I absolutely love. I don't like the cold but the fall weather is quite enjoyable lately. The cool and crisp mornings...the drive to work with the windows open, and listening to some great music that I haven't listened to in awhile...ah...just soothing.

Then...the whirlwind of intensity and focus begins for many hours. The end of the day arrives and I look forward to....doing more work...but this time, for school.

Needless to say, I'm ready for a vacation. Even if its a day. Hopefully I will get that this Saturday when I hope to put aside all those things that seem to be all-consuming of my life and do something for me. I hope the weather is enjoyable and the coffee is always flowing for the day will be spent enjoying life, nature, and whatever else I can soak up.  Then, back to the whirlwind of life.  But...at least its one day.

Things I'm pondering...

... spin spin spin...boy do I feel dizzy

... is there anywhere in the world where its fall all the time?

... sleep is so far removed from my lifestyle, I won't know what to do when I sleep again...is that bad?

For A Reason

Everything happens for a reason, right? No, really? Does it?

Sure it does. So...what's the reason? Yeah, not so fast. Unfortunately its not that easy.

Life is life and will happen as it happens. All we can do is hang on for the ride that is given to us. Yes, we make choices and decisions that will ultimately affect the outcomes but at the same time, doesn't fate factor in somewhere?

What about your dreams and aspirations? Will fate affect those? Can you control the outcomes?

Henry David Thoreau once said... Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

Don't leave yourself or your life to fate...dream big and let nothing stop you from achieving greatness.

Greatness is a road leading towards the unknown. ~ Charles de Gaulle


Things I'm pondering...
... how do you manage a vast quantity of dreams?
... is there ever a right priority to life and all its activities?
... How do you say No to something you truly enjoy?

Tired

I'm ridiculously tired right now...and yet I find myself writing a blog. Its just past midnight and I should really be asleep but am writing...not sure what about or if this will even have much substance. An interesting day at work today after a long and exhausting weekend. I had asked a friend of mine recently why is it that I never can enjoy the weekend. His response, you're in grad school genius, you can enjoy the weekend when we're done.

What a motivational comment. But, he's right. about a year and a half and I'll be done and have my MBA. Honestly though, lately, I've started to wonder if it will really affect or impact my career. What choices can I make now to support the long term?

Just random thoughts in the head tonight. I looked at my calendar tonight...the one thing that I cannot live without...and was just overwhelmed at what this week looked like. But, I've handled worse so I just need to keep it all in perspective. Just take it one day at a time. So, that's my plan, One day at a time.

Things I'm pondering...

...really need to learn to sleep with my eyes open...
...will dreams really come true one day?
...sleep will never be overrated!

What If

So, I have realized that I am a man with many dreams. Often times, I think I have too many dreams and aspirations in my life.

So...What If I just took a chance and went after one of them? Unfortunately, I tend to be a more level-headed person and need to plan everything but lately, I've been feeling more like spicing things up a bit and taking some changes.

I think this something I need to ponder a bit more but I am really thinking about take a chance on something...maybe a slow start at it but still, taking a chance.

I'll keep you posted....pun intended.

Things I'm pondering...
... is it possible to have too many talents?
.... do I really have any talents that are useful?
... its amazing how oblivious some people can be.