see title above...

Defining Life's Moments....have you defined a moment lately? I know I haven't. And I ask myself, what's stopping me? Do I need to wait for a little nudge from someone or to the extent of learning of an illness or a threat to my life?

I recently read a book called The Last Lecture. I'm sure you may have heard of it since it is on the best seller's list. In brief, its about a man, Randy Pausch, who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was given a short amount of time to life. He began making decisions in his life to ...in my own words...define his moments of true happiness...

After reading the book and watching his 'Last Lecture' (he was a professor at Carnegie Melon University), I've been inspired to make intentional decisions to define my life and seek out true happiness. I'll admit, I don't know what the first decision will be or the impact it will have but only time will tell.

A little more information on Randy Pausch: http://www.thelastlecture.com/aboutr.htm

Unfortunately, on Friday, July 25, 2008, Randy passed away however his inspiration lives on.

Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder...what if things were different...
...how would things change? ...

Sometimes I wonder...what can I do differently...
...would things actually change?...

Sometimes I wonder...will change make any difference at all...or are we all just stuck in this rut together....called life.

Doing something Well

When you find something that you enjoy doing, you do it well, and others recognize it, do more of it. Totally worth it - not because its recognized but because it makes you feel good on the inside.

Things I'm Pondering...

• Cloning...need to figure that out sometime
• Why do some people just don't understand commonsense? Will it ever change?
• Are taking chances worth it?

4th of July

Yesterday was the 4th of July. Probably my favorite holiday. It was different this year. Times have changed, lives have changes, traditions have change. Change is good, right? Sometimes... However change can also sometimes make you think of what was, what could have been, how things were, and why things are the way they are.

That being said...everything happens for a reason. Today is today because that is how it was meant to be. The past is the past, the present is now, the future is yet to be discovered.

Change is good. New traditions can begin along with new goals, focus and purpose. Through it all, never forget the reason for this holiday and the message that it brings. Celebrate life. Celebrate Independence. Celebrate Change.

Things to Ponder...

• All things happen for a reason...sometimes I just wish I knew why.
• To what lengths does one go to pursue his dreams?
• Sometimes, taking a risk will pay off and sometimes no. How can I see into the future?

Rain

There is just something about rain....that sets the mood for me. It's been raining almost non-stop all weekend. I was tired of it for awhile but I cracked the patio doors tonight and have been listening to it for a bit. So, to enhance the mood, I threw on some jazz music as well. Can't ever go wrong with Miles Davis. So now, I'm desiring to go out to Seattle for a mini-vacation. There is just something about Seattle that has a peace about it for me. I've only been there once for about 5 days but it was a different world for me. I was able to get in touch with the inner me and find some peace.

Unfortunately, that mini-vacation will have to wait for now. But I'll do my best to tackle the next life struggle that I bring on myself.

I had a good conversation with a great friend...maybe one of my best friends...yesterday about struggles in life. I was reminded (only because I'm stubborn) that I need to talk about things and let them out more often and now hold things in. It was also suggested to me that I make a list regarding the specific we were discussing (not going to get into the details) to help get things out. I started the list...and its helping. I don't feel 'cleansed' by it but its helping to deal with it. Baby steps...baby steps.

So on this rainy evening in June, here I sit with the sounds of water dripping from the deck above, Miles Davis filling the room and some ambient lighting...I think to myself...you are strong and you can overcome. Surround yourself with those that care about you. Life is a challenge and you're up for the challenge.

Ponderings...

• Rain - is there a point when its just too much and we can somehow gather up the runoff and ship it elsewhere?
• Why does it seem so hard to just start living?
• Sometimes, reality sets in and its frustrating...how can I change that?

Infectious SMILES

Its been a crazy busy week for me constantly running from one place to another. Granted, if I knew how to say no to some things, it would be easier but its those things that I truly enjoy in life and am attempting to make time for (See earlier post).

So this morning I'm up early working on a project for class. When I say early, I mean at the coffee shop already working by 6:15. I'm feeling pretty exhausted but when I came in this morning, I was greeted with what I will call the 'infectious SMILE' by the coffee barista. Now, granted she is a fun and energetic person, and has had a really busy week as well (we chatted a bit this morning) but she still has the life in her to smile this early in the morning. Quite inspiring and makes the stress of the week go away.

So thank you unnamed coffee barista for the infectious smile this morning.

* side note...this reminds me a commercial...for coke or diet coke possible...where the consumer opens a bottle of diet coke, smiles and it becomes infections to anyone who walks by and continues to be passed on....or something like that.

Ponderings for this early morning...
** how long of constant smiling does it take for your cheeks to hurt?
** I'm still working on that IV of coffee...suggestions?
** you can always learn and be inspired...don't shut inspiration out of your life. (not a pondering but a statement!)

Not Feeling My Age

So I'm not feeling my age this weekend. I feel so much older and am in that state of mind as well. I find myself constantly reminding myself that I'm not that old and that I have so much life to life. So, start living it! I'm working on it.

Played a pickup game of kickball today - I'm gonna feel that tomorrow. It wasn't that vigorous but when you're not in shape, it makes it hurt all the more.

I've also had some realizations today that with my age, I need to focus on my age group more. I need to focus on building those adult relationships. Its nothing against my younger friends but, fact of the matter is, we're in different places in our lives. That doesn't mean I'm going to become best friends with people that are 60 (I'm not that old by the way) but just needing to diversify my friendship base.

My ponderings...
... can 45 minutes of kickball really make me hurt this much? What happened to the kickball days in college?

... how do i really mentally cut the strings of the past and move on?

... do I expect too much? why do I get so attached? I'm I really that emotional and sensitive of a person?