falling apart

I feel like my life is falling apart right in front me. I feel so alone in this world. I feel so far away from God. I have all this anger and bitterness inside of me and I can't seem to release it. I am angry with my life and need to get my attitude changed and I just can't seem to figure out how to do it. I'm so frustrated and discouraged right now with almost every aspect of my life. It has such a negative effect on me and I hate how is makes me feel inside.

I need something to change just wish I could figure out what it is. God, please give me direction and give me peace. I long so much for it right now and I can't navigate through this world on my own anymore.

I know I know... Proverbs 3:5-6....easier said then done. But I know its what I need to do....

um...now what

... so...my fish died yesterday. I only had it for a little over two months. It was an 'apartment warming' gift from my friend jessie. And sure enough, today, I'm sick and stayed home and I don't even have my fish to talk to. Pathetic am I? maybe... Lonely am I? probably too much.

Days like this I need to just fill my life with those things that are good and I'll make it through.

...but...days like today...i sure wish I had my puppy back.

hold on

I watched this video today - Hold On - by Good Charlotte - it reminds me of my life - so up and down lately - that it seems all i can do is to hold on...but hold onto what? I feel so lost in this world. my life seems so empty and alone but I know that I have one thing to hold onto - my God. With Him leading my life, I can make it through anything, no matter how tough, how alone I feel every day, how bad things can go at work, the aftermath of past changes in my life and the new changes yet to come. God will always be there for me. He will never leave me nor forsake me.

I will hold on. I will continue to seek after Him every day. For I know the reward will be great one day.

An Open Mind

An Open Mind....will lead to endless opportunities. Don't shut yourself off from life, happiness or success.

Lately, I feel like my life has become so consumed with the hustle and bustle of life and that I won't have an opportunity to enjoy life. But its just the mindset that I'm in. If I open my mind and not allow the daily tasks to dictate my life but instead, allow God to direct my path each and every day, everything in life will find its way to where it is supposed to be.

Remember, God is in control of your day and until you give Him full control, you will never have your path completely revealed to you.

searching

We all search for something...happiness, relationship, love, companionship, success...you name it, we seek after it. But...think about this...what seeks after you?

I've struggled lately with trying to seek out something in my life but the troubling part is I don't know what it is. What am I seeking for? Is it happiness? love? success? yes to all of the above?

Sometimes, yes it is all of those but other times its none but I can't pinpoint what it is.

I hope to find direction sometime soon but I will be patience until the path in front of me is revealed.

the Will of LIfe

So, I was about to title this blog My Will...and then I was stopped dead in my tracks. It's not my will, its not my Life...Austin..what are you thinking? Honestly, sometimes I don't know. I mean, think about it...God created all, that means He created me. He didn't do this so that I can appease my own desires but instead, to serve Him and to glorify Him. Ok, sounds a little crazy but...its True. Why should we be so focused on what our lifes will accomplish?

All things are in God's will. So why can't we just fully trust Him and His will? Are you going to question God? Are you under-estimating the all mighty one, creator of heaven and Earth...yeah...I'll get right on that.

So, that brings me back to the original topic...the Will of Life...anyone got any ideas what that is? Me neither except for the fact that God will continually reveal His plan for me and my life and that is what I need to follow.

Jer. 29:11 says...'For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to Harm You.'

That sounds awesome...do you care to elaborate? Well, as 'God's Will' is revealed to me each and every day, I will learn more about my purpose and plan for my life. But, I'll admit, as of late, I sure am lacking some direction in my life.

One day, I think I'll finally have it figured out and where God wants me...and to my surprise, I'll already be there because that is where God intended for me to go from the beginning.

Ponder that one!

Endless Madness

So it feels as though my life is in an endless madness spin cycle of a washing machine...there's some great imagery. You'd think when you put so much effort into trying to simply your life, you'd be successful. But yet, instead, I find myself more busy... why is that?

I hope one day soon all aspects of life will setttle down unlike the clouds of dust on this windy day!

"Nothing is a simple as we hope it will be."
~ Jim Horning