Vacancy

A void of something lost or something not yet found. An empty space, waiting to be filled. Vastness - all consuming - without substance. Seeking, searching, hoping, willing, wondering, pondering. Life's complexities provide hope for simplicity, basic, unchanged and pure. Life's a journey with no end but a constant search of something unknown. A search that is continuous, finding only temporary fulfillment in something, someone or some place. The only difference, between you an me, contentment in that which as been found. My contentment can only be found within myself.

Possibilities

If you want all possibilities to be present...you have to make yourself open and available to all possibilities. Limits will only do what the says...Limit You. Your life goals, experiences and aspirations cannot be achieved with limits. Remove the limitations and truly experience...

see title above...

Defining Life's Moments....have you defined a moment lately? I know I haven't. And I ask myself, what's stopping me? Do I need to wait for a little nudge from someone or to the extent of learning of an illness or a threat to my life?

I recently read a book called The Last Lecture. I'm sure you may have heard of it since it is on the best seller's list. In brief, its about a man, Randy Pausch, who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was given a short amount of time to life. He began making decisions in his life to ...in my own words...define his moments of true happiness...

After reading the book and watching his 'Last Lecture' (he was a professor at Carnegie Melon University), I've been inspired to make intentional decisions to define my life and seek out true happiness. I'll admit, I don't know what the first decision will be or the impact it will have but only time will tell.

A little more information on Randy Pausch: http://www.thelastlecture.com/aboutr.htm

Unfortunately, on Friday, July 25, 2008, Randy passed away however his inspiration lives on.

Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder...what if things were different...
...how would things change? ...

Sometimes I wonder...what can I do differently...
...would things actually change?...

Sometimes I wonder...will change make any difference at all...or are we all just stuck in this rut together....called life.

Doing something Well

When you find something that you enjoy doing, you do it well, and others recognize it, do more of it. Totally worth it - not because its recognized but because it makes you feel good on the inside.

Things I'm Pondering...

• Cloning...need to figure that out sometime
• Why do some people just don't understand commonsense? Will it ever change?
• Are taking chances worth it?

4th of July

Yesterday was the 4th of July. Probably my favorite holiday. It was different this year. Times have changed, lives have changes, traditions have change. Change is good, right? Sometimes... However change can also sometimes make you think of what was, what could have been, how things were, and why things are the way they are.

That being said...everything happens for a reason. Today is today because that is how it was meant to be. The past is the past, the present is now, the future is yet to be discovered.

Change is good. New traditions can begin along with new goals, focus and purpose. Through it all, never forget the reason for this holiday and the message that it brings. Celebrate life. Celebrate Independence. Celebrate Change.

Things to Ponder...

• All things happen for a reason...sometimes I just wish I knew why.
• To what lengths does one go to pursue his dreams?
• Sometimes, taking a risk will pay off and sometimes no. How can I see into the future?

Rain

There is just something about rain....that sets the mood for me. It's been raining almost non-stop all weekend. I was tired of it for awhile but I cracked the patio doors tonight and have been listening to it for a bit. So, to enhance the mood, I threw on some jazz music as well. Can't ever go wrong with Miles Davis. So now, I'm desiring to go out to Seattle for a mini-vacation. There is just something about Seattle that has a peace about it for me. I've only been there once for about 5 days but it was a different world for me. I was able to get in touch with the inner me and find some peace.

Unfortunately, that mini-vacation will have to wait for now. But I'll do my best to tackle the next life struggle that I bring on myself.

I had a good conversation with a great friend...maybe one of my best friends...yesterday about struggles in life. I was reminded (only because I'm stubborn) that I need to talk about things and let them out more often and now hold things in. It was also suggested to me that I make a list regarding the specific we were discussing (not going to get into the details) to help get things out. I started the list...and its helping. I don't feel 'cleansed' by it but its helping to deal with it. Baby steps...baby steps.

So on this rainy evening in June, here I sit with the sounds of water dripping from the deck above, Miles Davis filling the room and some ambient lighting...I think to myself...you are strong and you can overcome. Surround yourself with those that care about you. Life is a challenge and you're up for the challenge.

Ponderings...

• Rain - is there a point when its just too much and we can somehow gather up the runoff and ship it elsewhere?
• Why does it seem so hard to just start living?
• Sometimes, reality sets in and its frustrating...how can I change that?